Just Be You

I went to high school at a time when girls who were considered attractive had straight hair and a tan. This was unfortunate for me, because I had curly hair, pale skin, and freckles.

Straightening my hair took a lot of time and effort, but it's what I did because I wanted to be attractive and accepted. I did my best to be just like everyone else. Of course, that was never going to be quite possible, due to the fact that when I tried to tan, I just turned red and freckled more. However, this never stopped me from trying. I was sunburned more times than I can count, and I put much effort into keeping my hair straight, even when rain and humidity made it a challenge. I had a routine each evening of taking a shower, blow drying my hair as I straightened it with a brush, and then I would iron it, if need be. (This was before the days of straightening irons, so I used the clothes iron and put my head on the ironing board).

When the times shifted a little and soft curls became the hairstyle of the day, I just added another step to my routine. After blow drying it straight, I would take hot curlers and curl it to add some soft curls. All of this took time, effort and energy. Not to mention the damage I was doing to my hair.

I continued to do this for years, until one day in my early twenties, I was getting ready for work and made a conscious shift internally. I realized I was putting entirely too much effort into trying to be something I was not. Routinely straightening my hair in an effort to be accepted meant resistance and unacceptance of who I was. I was tired of swimming upstream and struggling to be something I was not. That day I went to work with curly hair, pale skin, and freckles... and it was effortless. From that day forward I stopped the daily routine of straightening my hair. I stopped the insanity of intentionally exposing my skin to the sun in hopes that it would turn darker. I'm not sure whether struggling to be something I wasn't was the impetus for this internal change, or whether it was just me no longer resisting who I was... but it was effortless and easy. It felt natural, and was just me.

I know it's been said that when you make an internal change, your external world also changes. So, I guess it makes sense that shortly after internally accepting my external self just as I was, that I met the man who is now my husband and father of my children.

It's always effortless and easy to just be you... and I believe this is how it's supposed to be!