Out of My Mind

When my son came home from playing golf, I asked him how he played? He said, "Not well, I play best when I don't think." I had to smile to myself, because I knew exactly what he meant. However, it took me much longer to learn this about myself than it has taken him.
I have the same experience of this when I'm drawing, painting or writing. It doesn't happen right away, but moves in over time. In the process of creating, I release my mind and something outside me takes over. I'm no longer thinking and this is where my best work is created. Creativity flows through me, but it doesn't come from thinking. It comes from being "out of my mind." It is what I call "bliss." I suppose it is much like what an athlete feels when he or she is "in the zone", or when a writer or musician hits their stride.
It brings to mind the movie, "Billy Elliot". Billy goes to London to audition for the ballet and someone from the panel asks him, "How do you feel when you dance?" His first response is "I don't know", but then his facial expression changes and he stops thinking; he begins to feel what he feels while dancing and you can see that something else has taken over. He stumbles to articulate it and then says. "it doesn't happen right away, but eventually, it feels like electricity running through me." He expresses it beautifully. It is something that cannot come from the mind, it is something outside of thinking that takes over and comes through you.
Eckhart Tolle says, that all creation happens outside of the mind. It is my experience that anything of true value and substance happens when I am out of my mind. Miracles happen and God takes over when my mind gets out of the way and surrenders to endless possibilities and my highest potential. I love the experience of being out of my mind.

Listen to Yourself

Three years ago my friend lost her husband at an early age. She was left to raise two teenage sons alone. In an instant, her whole life was dismantled. The foundation upon which she had based her life rapidly dissolved. Everything she had trusted in and relied upon was gone. There was no chance of turning back, the process of creating her new reality was her only option. The familiar no longer applied to her life, she had to navigate her way through uncharted territory.
She went through all the emotions one does when crisis is thrust upon us. She experienced shock, anger, depression and acceptance. I witnessed much of her journey and I watched as she turned her pain into suffering. This suffering was for a worthy cause, it was for her growth and development. More importantly, in her eyes, it was for her sons. She never lost sight of the fact that she had to move forward and not live in the past. She made many tough decisions and rode the wave of change that had blown into her life. She didn't wallow in self-pity, she simply accepted her new life with full cooperation. As she once told me, "I sometimes fake it until I can make it."
Just last year, I asked what she had learned from this. Without hesitation, she said, "I learned to listen to myself."
I cannot think of a better lesson in life, than to listen to yourself. She chose to be responsible for all of her choices and accepted the consequences. By listening to herself, she chose a responsible life.
Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, "a friend is one before whom I may think out loud."
Let me just say out loud, how proud I am of my friend and for all she has become. She has taken responsibility for her life and fulfilled her noble aspirations. She did all of this by listening to herself.
Have you learned to listen to yourself?

Bee's Birthday

Bee is my friend and neighbor. Her birthday is June 17th and she will be 91. Typically, when I mention Bee to someone who doesn't know her, they wonder why I hang around someone of that age. The answer is, because of how she makes me feel.
Bee is not your typical 91 year old. She has more vitality than an average 30 year old. She still cares for and maintains a two story Victorian home and does not require any outside help. While this is amazing in itself, this is not what I treasure most about her.
I love to spend time with her... my favorite thing, is when we go shopping together. She sees everything with a different set of eyes. She takes the common and makes it beautifully uncommon. She sees beauty where I may not have noticed, had she not pointed it out. She sees flaws and embraces them as if they were created for her to appreciate. She finds joy in the little things and joy finds her. Her enthusiasm is infectious and multiplies with each person she touches. She has a magical childlike quality and at the same time, the wisdom of an old soul. She lives in each moment and loves life.
When I look at her I don't see any age, I only see the beauty that radiates from her. When I'm with her, I always feel good. When I leave her, I always feel better than I did before I saw her. I treasure her friendship and the gift she is to me.
Happy Birthday Bee!!!

My Favorite Role

We all identify and define ourselves, to some degree, by roles we play in life. When thinking about the roles I have played in this lifetime, my favorite role without a doubt, is that of mother. I knew at an early age that part of my contract was to become a mother. When I say become a mother, I mean just that... I was not born with the innate ability to be a mother, I had to grow into that role. I didn't have children at an early age because I knew I had to learn who I was before I could possibly offer myself to the sacred responsibility of motherhood.
No one could have possibly prepared me for everything that motherhood had in store for me. Perhaps, that is one of the reasons it is my favorite role. It has been entirely, a live in the moment, trial and error, fly by the seat of my pants experience. There have been many difficulties, obstacles and sorrows to work through and overcome. Just when I thought I had something figured out, I realized I didn't know anything. I've had to start from scratch more times than I wish to count. But, I have to say, it has all been worth it.
Being a mother has stressed me in ways I had not thought possible (and I do mean that in the literal sense as well). It has allowed me to play mutiple roles, including doctor, nurse, psychologist, friend, student, teacher, tutor, creativity director, room mother, den mother, chauffeur, mentor and guide. It has never been dull and always challenging. It has brought me some of my biggest joys and greatest triumphs.
But, the greatest gift I have received has been my son and daugther. When they walk into a room, my eyes light up. They are people that I am proud to say, came through me. I've witnessed their journeys; and I'm amazed at the challenges they have gallantly tackled and the people they have become. I'm proud of the fact that they do not compromise their integrity and their self-esteem has been earned. I have learned so much from them. They are people I would be proud to work for, and with, and honored to call my friend. They are people I like to spend quality time with, and they are quality people.
If I could possibly take credit for even a minuscule part in influencing and guiding them to become the people they are today, then motherhood has been my greatest role. It is certainly my favorite role.
What is your greatest role in life?